“Forgiveness isn’t always about doing something for a human relationship but rather about being obedient to what God has instructed us to do.” — Lysa TerKeurst
I have often associated forgiveness with reconciliation, believing that its purpose was to repair a relationship or rebuild what had been broken. But what happens when the relationship remains broken?
What if the person never apologises or acknowledges the hurt they caused? Do we still forgive?
Lysa TerKeurst’s words remind us that forgiveness is not ultimately about what we can salvage from a relationship; it is about our obedience to God.
This is where forgiveness becomes difficult. We may never receive the apology we hoped for or see the other person take responsibility. Yet our willingness to forgive cannot depend on their willingness to make things right.
This does not mean we must restore every relationship or abandon healthy boundaries. Forgiveness does not require us to remain in situations that continue to hurt us.
Perhaps the real test of forgiveness is whether we can obey God even when reconciliation is not possible.
We may not be able to change what happened or how another person responds, but we can choose how we respond to God’s instruction.
Sometimes, forgiveness will not bring two people back together. It may not change the relationship at all.
But it allows us to honour God, even when the outcome is not what we hoped for.
