Sunday is Mother’s Day, a remarkable day to ponder and be grateful for the wonderful sacrifices mothers make.
This time, I have chosen to dwell on just one of the many skills my mother taught me years ago that is still relevant for my daily life: cooking ☺️.
I am grateful to my mother for deciding to teach me how to cook and for successfully passing this skill on to me.
Growing up, I often took for granted the many things my mother taught me or tried to teach me. Perhaps I assumed it was simply a mother’s default mode to impart wisdom.
Adulting, parenthood and life, however, have taught me some profound lessons. It is one thing to wish the best for your child, another thing to set goals to do the best for them and a totally different thing to put in the consistent effort, sacrifices and finances required to support your child in becoming the best he or she can be. Furthermore, it is another challenge altogether to have a child who is receptive to being guided and molded by their parent in the way the parent believes is best.
Cooking is a fundamental life skill. That is why I am so thankful that my mother shared the knowledge she gained from her mother and her education with me. I believe she passed it on with the best intentions, hopeful that someday I would be able to use it to take care of myself and my family.
It would be a complete lie if I said I had been an easy student for my mother, always listening and obeying. Mind you, gentle parenting was not a thing during my childhood days. My mother is a Ghanaian mother, with zero tolerance for disrespect and ingratitude. Sometimes I thought my mother was only using me to make her life easier, like making me do kitchen chores and cook for the entire family. Later, however, I realized it was a simple art of nurturing taking place.
Cooking is much more than just mixing ingredients together. It cultivates an abundance of skills: planning (meal planning, choosing ingredients, budgeting, shopping, etc.), creativity and experimentation, problem solving (like ingredient substitution and adapting recipes), self-sufficiency, patience, resilience — the list goes on.
My mother provided an environment where I learned to try, fail, and try again and again. The first time I cooked for my family, I attempted rice and beans, a total experiment and disaster! What I learned that day was simple: beans take a much longer time to cook than rice. It is best to soak and cook the beans separately first. Even after serving my family that memorable dish of hard beans and overly soft rice, I was still allowed back into the kitchen. There, I continued to learn, experiment, fail some more — burning dishes, setting napkins on fire, breaking plates, serving saltless food, and overcooking meals. Yet, through it all, she persisted with her patient guidance.
That is why, today, I choose to thank God for her and for teaching me how to cook. Though my mother never used a cookbook, her method was more heart and people centered, freely passing on to me many valuable skills, all packaged within the art of cooking. As I reflect on the lessons my mother imparted, I realize that this gift of hers to me was far greater — a foundation of resilience, love, and independence that continues to help me every day.
This Mother’s Day, I celebrate not only the meals shared but the lifelong skills and values she lovingly passed on, shaping who I am and who I strive to be. For that, I am endlessly grateful.