On this day as most people remember fathers, I seek out time to write something about you and to you.
I strongly believe you will read this. Now that you are no longer limited by your body.
Not that today is the only day I have thought of you. That would be impossible.
I carry you in every breath of me. I literally look at you when I look at myself.
This letter wants to find out how you are doing. I am sure the limitations of the body with its sicknesses and pain cannot find you anymore where you are.
This letter is also a way of me finding some form of contact with you.
You and I were not always the best of friends.
Truth be told we were never friends.
You were my father and I your daughter.
You did what you believed was right for me and for society.
You had your own way of loving me and I my own expectations of love from you.
I broke your heart several times and yours mine.
Looking back, I question my inability to relent and accept you wholly as you loved. To accept your ways of loving. And to accept the fact that it was how you knew best to love.
Everything I am comes back to you.
All the skills and values you instilled in me from day one till you left I use each passing day.
The distance between us had taught me how much I am just like you and how much I loved you.
It had taught me to love you more and learn that love means accepting you for all you were and are to me.
I wonder in moments when I am by myself how different things would have been if you were here.
What advice you would give me and how you would prefer me to live at the moment.
I have lost your fatherly protection and humour.
But your sarcasm, your resilience, your fighting spirit and zeal for learning thrives in me.
I love you dad. Take care and hope to see you when I cross over to your side.