Category: A girl’s Confessions

This week, we had a secret Santa gift exchange in our office. In the season of seeking and preparing the gift, God reminded me of how each one of his children since their formation has been given gifts. Each one of us has a special gift or gifts placed inside us. And like a gift that is wrapped up with wrapping paper and nicely decorated with ribbons, no matter where the gift is placed or taken to, what is inside the wrapping will remain inside and will never change.

In my case, it is up to my colleague to unwrap the gift, which is a special kind of lamp, and make the best use of it. He will need to also plug it into a source of electricity and connect it via Bluetooth to his mobile device to play music. There is some work to do on his part too with his gift. Until he does these things, the gift will remain wrapped up and useless to him and, in his case, his family. God has given each one of us gifts. In God’s case, He is even willing to help us unwrap our gifts, set it up and help us reap all the benefits of those gifts to the glory of His name. An important thing to remember is that it does not matter whether you think the gift is inferior or that you are unworthy of the gift. God only gives good things to His children, and therefore your opinion of the gift and of the recipient will never change God’s intended purpose or worth of the gift. Consistently telling yourself you are not worthy or that your gift is inferior or worthless will never diminish the value of the gift as God intended it. It is only that you will never benefit from what the gift was intended to accomplish in your life and in the lives of all the others that are waiting for this gift.

In the case of my colleague, he received a nice little lamp that provides soft warm light and plays music. I think it was designed mainly for relaxing purposes after a long day. Even though the gift was intended for my colleague, as he is a father and husband, his family will also benefit from the gift. His children will probably be fascinated by it when they see it. And so even though his name was on the gift, others will benefit from his gift too.

In this season of giving and of gift exchanges, let us also be reminded of the many wrapped up gifts God has placed inside us, waiting to be unwrapped and used to bring the needed change in the world and ultimately glorify God’s name.
Image source: juliescribbles

Why not right? Mornings are cool. The birds are singing. Most of the people I meet on the run, are happy, sharing morning compliments. The sun is shining on my face. The cool breeze cooling off the warmness of my forehead. Morning runs are cool. It allows myself and my thoughts engage in conversation. And a place or state where I get ideas for just about anything.

I started running about a decade ago, in Accra. It was a challenge! I remember Sena coming for me from his house at dawn. He did, well not literally, push me out of the comfort zone (of my bed). For someone who had offered to help, I felt he was enthusiastic, more enthusiastic than I. He was patient. A trait which has made him a great personal trainer.  After those episodes and on my own, running still did not come naturally to me. I went running when I felt like. Once a month or twice a week. And each time it was tough, pushing myself to finish what I started.

In Weimar, I would run as the weather dictated, only during the warmer seasons.  My first 5k was in Weimar. If I ever did a 5k in Accra I would not know as I never used Apps to monitor my distance or speed. Speed and distance were not the goal. Using Apps like Runkeeper helped my pace and how further I run. The furthest I have run was 22km in April 2020. It took me 2 hours 40 minutes and 57 seconds. I was really proud of myself for that feat. It made me ask myself what else could my body do if I pushed it? I am looking to run a marathon someday, probably on my own or in a group. That is a cool goal. I can tell everyone proudly I have ever run a marathon. You know what a much cooler goal would be? To get running to be a natural thing to me. As natural as eating and sleeping.

So why do I love morning runs? Not only because they are cool but also each time, I leave the house in the morning for a run, it is a form of recognition, self-respect, and self-honor to my set goals. It is an act that says I did not just set those goals or daydream them, but I am putting in the effort to be that vision I desire. I do this also because I am not your average running girl. I am black, weigh about 90 kg and about 5.11 feet tall. Furthermore, I’ve never seen anyone like me out on a run in Ghana nor Germany. So I rep and protect my uniqueness on those tracks. I’ve over the years learned a lot about myself running. Most importantly that running is not just physical exercise, it is a mind battle. Even today, each time I step out for a run I engage in a battle. But guess what I get better at winning this battle each time.

So with this post, I am finally back to blogging!!!! I am so excited about this because I am back to one thing that has been on my mind since my break.

The only difference now since the last time I blogged is that I am now a mama to a lovely boy who is a daily blessing to me.

Yes, motherhood is a really special opportunity and especially when I became one I learnt to appreciate my mother more and understand her better. It’s indeed a beautiful infusion of blessings, I would say. Being a mother taught me many things that no one tells you. It is almost like being married. There are many things said and shared but you only learn from your own marriage experiences. Let me share these things I learnt in three points with you.

The three things no one told me about motherhood, 😀

The beauty of birth-pain:

Don’t smirk or frown at my title above. Before I had a child, the only imagery of childbirth was what I saw in movies. I had never had the experience of being part of a birth until mine. That visual representation of childbirth I knew was what the film industry or perhaps books had given me.

It was quite a mix of emotions during the last days of my pregnancy. I was both excited and anxious about what my birth experience would be. I kept asking, when I had the opportunity, a couple of mothers how their birth experiences were. Often those I asked gave me the impression it was just a push, a puff and nothing more. Some even went ahead to use adjectives such as easy, quick and painless [rolling my eyes] to describe their birth experiences.

One person who described birth-pain as I later experienced it was my mother-in-law. She said to me “This pain will make you think you will die soon and at this point when you think you will die that is the point your baby is coming”. The truth of the beauty of birth pain is that it cannot really be expressed in the way it is experienced. It is an individual experience and for me a pain I had never experienced in my life (There is nothing to really compare it to). It was beautiful, only beautiful in the end when my baby came out and was placed on my bosom. And as I write now, I have no memory of the pain, it seems to fade away.

2. Some mothers lie (papa¹) a lot

Until I became a mother I did not appreciate the level of societal pressure that mothers face. Mothers have much more societal pressure to be better persons than Fathers. A father often might receive praise for doing what a mother normally does. Mothers are not allowed to forget, for example if you forget your son’s summer-hat at home you could be a bad mother for doing that. I believe this societal pressure often leads to some mothers lying, often even about simple things like baby sleeping or breastfeeding patterns. It is also important for some mothers to be seen as super mothers or mothers of geniuses.

Initially, mom-stories such as how their child started walking at 7 months or slept throughout the night since they were two months or started speaking proper words at 8 months made me question myself if I did something wrong. However with time I realized it must only be two things unless these mothers are telling stories to feel good about themselves or they might really be raising very unique world-changers who will go to the moon at age 11. I have learned to sift what is helpful and move-on. Every child is different and specially unique. None should be compared.

3. Everyone is an expert but you

Forget about motherly instincts, well at least everyone forgets you have it anyway. Once you become a mother, everyone becomes an expert but you. There are the old women who want to advice you on the street on things they have seen only within 5 minutes of meeting you. People tend to think they know your baby or child’s needs more than you and you must be on a journey to NOT take good care of your offspring. Of course, all advice is well meant even when not requested for. “Why are you not doing a or b? it is what is done here.” “Why don’t you give him a pacifier?”, “Why do you dress him up so warm?” “Won’t he get cold with such clothes”? “You should talk to him more often otherwise he will not develop in speech”. An endless list.

With time I learnt to trust me, though I did read early parenting books the most useful resource of peace came from within. Listening to your baby and your instincts. Of course, everyone “needs” advice but when it comes with no empathy it is often seen as judgement. Motherly instincts as I came to realize are quite powerful and accurate when listened to and it makes one a happy mother.

Motherhood is a beautiful experience, but it comes with challenges. Challenges that cannot always be imagined. Each day has been different none like the others. I remember a stranger once told me, “the time goes so fast, learn to enjoy him because it will never come back.” That is my motherhood motto.

1. Papa: An Akan word often added to express emphasis on an activity being carried often. It can also mean Father depending on the tone.