When you ask God to come into your life, you do it because you believe He is going to make you better. You are hopeful. You think He is going to come into your life (which we assume is like a house) and make things nicer. You think he is going to plant some flowers in the front, make a garden in the back, paint old things, change the wall colour and make the house look pretty and sophisticated. You like the ideas you form in your head because now everyone will see how beautiful you can be.
But the next day, He comes back with a wrecking ball and an excavator, with excitement. He says, which you already know, “am making all things new!” and thrusts the wrecking ball into the house. You scream! You loved this house; you did not even know how comfortable and in love you were with the house until it starts to fall. Can’t we negotiate this you ask Him? This has been your home for a long while, even if the doors creak, even if darkness fills some rooms, and even if some windows are sealed off. It is your home. Everything has worked the way you know it to till now even though it has always not been right.
And He continues, He says “I love you, I’ve got to do this dear friend, only then can we have that masterpiece”. He starts pulling, ripping, tearing apart. He pulls you from toxic situations. He grabs you from things and people who take life from you. It hurts because you loved them. He is touching the parts of your heart you never let anyone touch before. He pushes you into uncomfortable places. He makes you talk to people and do things you would rather not. You confront the darkest rooms together. And He is always, always there. He holds your hand while you tear up when you see the nothingness left, and out of that nothing He creates. With every brick he lays, you see the perfection. You see the beauty and are amazed at how you were content which that which was before.
And like a child you ask each day when He will be done, and why it takes so long? He builds your patience. He makes you love with your heart in His hands. You move over and he becomes the Lord of the home you have now. He amazes you at how slow but with precision He makes you, like Him. Your joy is overflowing, the pain is worthy, your home is His and your peace unwavering.
(The motivation for this piece is from a quote in Anne Lamott’s book Bird by Bird.)
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